Truthful Thursday- Depression

Psalm 56:8

You keep track of all my sorrows.  You have collected all my tears in your bottle.  You have recorded each one in your book.

Do you ever feel like you are sad, hurt, emotionally exhausted, like nobody really cares?   

I believe in God.  I believe He cares.  He listens. He loves me. 

Back in 2001 when I got married, I was excited to get pregnant, have a baby and be a stay-at-home mommy.  Little did I know the painful road and countless tears I would shed while going through infertility for almost 5 years.  I remember thinking and praying “why am I going through this?”, “did I do something wrong to deserve this pain?”, “there’s something wrong with me”, “I don’t deserve to be a mom”, etc...etc..  I had all these ugly thoughts in my head and I would cry, cry, cry, and cry.  It was an emotional and painful time in my life.  

Fast forward to 2005 when I finally had my daughter, Ashley.  I was thrilled and could not be happier.  My prayers were answered and my dreams came true.  Thank you, God!

April 2007- I delivered Hannah.  My daughters are 17 months apart.  God has a sense of humor, doesn’t He?  My Ashley was 9 months old when I found out I was pregnant!! I was in shock for about 4 months...lol  Well....you would think I’d be so happy to have these gorgeous healthy girls.  I had postpartum depression after my second girl was born. 

I was judgmental.  I didn’t believe in depression.  I thought people could just snap out of it and be fine.  I had no idea!!  Postpartum depression shocked me to the core.  My doctor put me on medication right away.  I could not understand why I was so depressed. I had no desire to do anything, not even walk to my mailbox to get the mail.  I was overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted, angry, sad and felt inadequate. This is not me.  I knew something was wrong. I remember crying over everything.  It took almost a year for me to feel normal again.  There was no need to take more medication.  I replaced my medication with this.....LOL

Source: theglitterguide.tumblr.com via Nancy on Pinterest

All this to say that we all have burdens to overcome. We all cry and have struggles.  God knows your pain.  He will never forget how you feel.  He wants to bless you.  I love the verse in the bible that says:

For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

I had no idea He had great plans for my life.  I feel content and completely blessed.  His plans are better than mine and I have to trust Him.  

Source: positive-posters.com via Nancy on Pinterest

Have you experienced depression?  How did you get over it?